ABC has announced the full cast for the eleventh season of Dancing With the People Who Desperately Want to be Stars, and it’s full of the usual tabloid staples and stars of yesteryear. The complete roster is as follows:

• Michael Bolton
• Brandy
• Margaret Cho
• Jennifer Grey
• Rick Fox
• David Hasselhoff
• Florence Henderson
• Kyle Massey
• Bristol Palin
• Audrina Patridge
• Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino
• Kurt Warner

Camera-shy Palin and camera-hungry Sorrentino are the big news here. The rest are standard Dancing fare: you’ve got the athletes (Fox and Warner), the young (Massey and Patridge) and the not-so-young (Henderson), the comedian (Cho), and the oddball (Hasselhoff). Personally, I’m thinking that Brandy and Dirty Dancing star Jennifer Grey have an unfair advantage, with prior dancing experience. But hey, that’s never stopped the casting directors before.

The new season starts September 20th.

Ellen DeGeneres got more than she bargained for by signing on with American Idol. The talk show queen has decided that “judging people and sometimes hurting their feelings” is just too hard for her. She also cites a heavier work schedule than she anticipated among the reasons she has decided to exit American Idol effective immediately. She will not appear on the show’s upcoming 10th season.

Ellen’s timing could be serendipitous. Scuttlebutt around the TV industry is that Fox is hoping to replace the entire judging panel this year, to make a big splash following founder Simon Cowell’s highly-publicized exit. (Cowell left to work on the American version of his British talent search show The X Factor.) The sole remaining original judge, Randy Jackson, has reportedly been expressing his desire to move on from the show as well.

At least one new high-profile panel member has just been verified: Jennifer Lopez. Fox isn’t confirming it, but it’s a done deal nonetheless. Fox is likely hoping to make a big announcement of the entire judges panel, which rumors indicate could include big names like Justin Timberlake and Elton John.

For the upcoming 10th season of American Idol — also known as “the season with no Simon” — the show has decided to lower the age limit for eligibility from 16 to 15. According to USA Today, Idol was inspired to take this step by the success of Justin Bieber and his ilk.

American Idol’s producers also recently announced their intention to accept submissions from Fox-owned MySpace (am I the only one surprised to hear that MySpace is still around?). The show still has a new judge to find, to fill Simon’s very big shoes.

Put all this stuff together and it looks like the show’s producers are strategizing new ways of generating excitement for Season 10. Which is probably a good idea, since Season 10 is probably going to be a snoozefest. Let’s face it: if ever there was drama to be found on Idol, it came from Simon. Now that he’s gone, some viewers are expected to lose interest.

So the show is fighting back with teeny-bopper singers and the hopes of creating viral sensations through MySpace. What do you think: will it work?

Lifetime has yet to make a formal announcement, but sources of The Futon Critic insist that Season 8 of Project Runway has a set premiere date, along with something thoroughly unexpected: the return of a pair of old favorites.

July 29th is reportedly the date for Season 8’s premiere episode, and it will be followed by On the Road with Austin & Santino. The new show finds former Runway contestants Austin Scarlett and Santino Rice teaming up to take a cross-country trip, where they’ll make frequent stops to find women in need of a fashion makeover.

On the Road expands Runway’s 1.5 hour block to a full 2 hours of Thursday programming for Lifetime. Project Runway will air at 9:pm, presumably followed like last year by Models of the Runway at 10:pm. The half-hour On the Road with Austin & Santino will air at 10:30.

For the seventh time in the last eight years, CBS has emerged as the overall ratings winner for network television.

Nielsen’s annual ratings report indicates that CBS was boosted to the top of the heap thanks to the record-breaking broadcast of the Super Bowl showdown between the Colts and the Saints. This year’s Super Bowl was the most-watched television broadcast in history, bringing in more than 106 million viewers for the network. CBS also scored the highest-rated scripted program of the year, in NCIS. CBS also boasts the three most popular new programs of the year: NCIS: Los Angeles, The Good Wife, and Undercover Boss.

In second place is Fox, who averaged about two million fewer viewers each night than CBS. But Fox scored a major victory of its own: a 3.6 rating in the key 18-49 demographic, which placed Fox on top in this all-important age range that advertisers seek the most. American Idol remains Fox’s juggernaut, earning the “number one show on television” status for the seventh year in a row.

ABC came in third place for the season, boosted heavily by Dancing With the Stars. NBC landed fourth in the broadcast network ratings, though if not for the Winter Olympics, its overall ratings for the season would have been down from last year.

The CW, unsurprisingly, came in fifth place.

After the great performances in “Dancing with the Stars” last night elimination night will surely be interesting. The scores are pretty close with Niecy Nash trailing behind Pamela and Erin only by two points.

• Niecy Nash and Louis Van Amstel- 49
• Pamela Anderson and Damian Whitewood- 51
• Erin Andrews and Maksim Abcrunchowsky – 51
• Chad Ochochinco and Cheryl Burke – 52
• Evan Lysacek and Anna T- 54
• Nicole Scherzinger and Derek Hough – 54

With such close scores who knows who’ll be going home? The fan votes will definitely carry even more weight tonight and no pair will be safe, not even power couples Nicole and Derek and Evan and Anna. I do hope though that Evan and Anna will not be going home tonight. That will just be plain wrong after they got perfect 10 from all three judges for their Argentine tango!

However the eliminations will go though we can be sure that performances from this week forward will get even better with the stars shaping up to be like pros more each day. As for me I’m betting that Evan and Anna will go home with the trophy this season. You just do go toe on toe with a figure skating champ and not expect him to win a dance competition. But I might be wrong, people after all root tend to root for the “underdogs” (case in point: Kate Gosselin). As for the other pairs all I can be sure about is that at least for Erin and Maksim they’ll be bringing home something if not the trophy (Just watch TMZ!) while the rest will still have memories and fat paychecks.

Kate Gosselin may be have finally been booted off Dancing With the Stars last Tuesday but it sure isn’t the last time we’ll be seeing her on TV. Not including all the tabloids and Jon-Kate “entertainment updates”, Kate will be getting a lot of TV face time with her upcoming TLC show “Twist of Kate”. It is also reported that she’ll also be continuing the show “Jon an Kate Plus 8″ with the kids, of course this time sans Jon.

DWTS

Kate’s stint with DWTS sure was painful to watch but it just shows how bankable it is to do a reality show with her since she managed to stay on for weeks just by the sheer volume of votes from her fans. It just goes to show how much people can relate to the confusion and hardships that goes with motherhood, having a egotistic ex-husband, and maybe even finding yourself mess up but still wanting to go on for your kids and yourself. Even I was touched by Kate’s thank you. Anyway, I guess I can now watch DWTS without having to cringe so much. For DWTS though it might mean a significant drop in viewers with Kate gone.

Twist of Kate

In Twist of Kate, TLC will bring Kate to different states to meet different families with different issues. We can expect the show to take off what with the drama that Kate always brings wherever she goes, plus this time it might actually be educational for her to see just how hard it is for other more normal families to struggle through life without a reality show to pay for the bills. I hope Kate the best in this series and hope it will make enough for her that she’ll opt not to go ahead with Kate plus 8. I’m all for her working and appearing on TV but maybe it is time for the kids to get less exposure. But who am I to say, maybe they really do miss the TLC’s crew since they know no other life?

I’ve often wondered why they have to boot someone out during the “Idol Gives Back” episode. With the good cheer going all around as people focus more on charity it just seems pretty sucky to try to wipe the smile off someone’s face. Keeping a smile on is not a problem to the one who had to leave this time though because Tim Urban had been getting comments from Simon for being too smiley.

Tim Urban has been having a rough time (more like a roller coaster ride) during his stay on idol but even after really rough performances, as Simon said, he didn’t really have to worry because his fans would carry him through. It seemed that his jolly demeanor will take him through to the ended, but of course it did not. I guess his “Better Days” (pun intended of course!) with idol is finally over, no thanks to his rendition of the Goo Goo Doll’s song. On the bottom three this week with Tim were Casey James (first time for him) and Aaron Kelly.

Towards the end of the show, after George Lopez revealed who was going home, the remaining idols surrounded Tim, who wasn’t asked to sing anymore. Probably it was because the 2-hour Idol Gives Back was already running too long, and anyway the save had already been used up before.

Next week we’ll be seeing Shania Twain mentor the idol contestants. Too bad for John Parks he didn’t make it this far…

VH1 is pretty much the last place you’d ever look, if intelligence is what you’re seeking on your TV screen. Somehow, the network that used to be devoted to music videos 24/7 has turned into a home for the most wretched, depraved reality shows in the world, which at best highlight the inane lifestyles of the rich and famous, and at worst, parade around one brainless, bikini-wearing bimbo after another. Face it: the V and the H might as well stand for vapid hussies.

So it came as a surprise to me today to hear that VH1 is completely reworking its entire lineup of shows by launching no less than 44 new ones. I had high hopes at first, especially upon hearing that Flavor Flave and Bret Michaels would no longer have VH1 shows to feed their libidos. But I’m sad to say that a close inspection of the network’s list of new shows does little to inspire confidence.

Among the highlights:

• You’re Cut Off: 9 spoiled girls are forced to stop abusing credit cards. VH1 has nicknamed it “spoiled rotten rehab,” which conjures all sorts of mental images about the tantrums that are sure to ensue.
• My Big Friggin’ Wedding: 5 couples cause excessive, thoroughly unnecessary drama as they try to throw the “wildest weddings anyone has ever seen” complete with “smoke machines and lasers” and “a bride that wants to be lowered from the ceiling.”
• Estranged with Dr. Drew: Dr. Drew Pinsky continues to whore out his Ph.D, this time to couples facing relationship meltdown. The doomed duos are forced to undergo “an intense and focused process that takes place over the course of a day.” God help them.
• The OCD Project: Patients suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder are exploited for your entertainment.
• Diary of a Hip Hop Girlfriend: Good grief, do I even need to describe this for you?

Vh1, we implore you: make the madness stop. Or, just acknowledge that you’re trying to morph into a pay-per-view porn network and be done with it.

Hollywood’s reigning king of explosions, Michael Bay (director of Transformers, Armageddon, and The Rock, is taking on television for the very first time, with a competition/reality show called One Way Out. Bay is joining forces with Dan Cutforth and Jane Lipsitz, who produce Project Runway and Top Chef, to create what’s being called “action-adventure” reality show.

The premise of One Way Out puts selected contestants in extreme and volatile environments, with no bare necessities on-hand, where they’ll try to keep hidden secrets from their pasts from their fellow contestants. Trust and betrayal are the name of the game, while every contestant must also go to extremes merely to survive. It all builds towards some kind of showdown where every secret is exposed and some kind of big twist takes place.

If that description sounds pretty vague, that’s because it is. Bay and his partners aren’t releasing exact details about the show just yet, preferring to keep things mostly secretive to build interest. The trio hasn’t yet found a network home for the show yet, but is shopping it around Hollywood as we speak.

Whatever. As long as explosions are involved, that’s all that really matters.